I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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