You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
