Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
