what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
