mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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