Your mouth is God's brothel.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Are my feet made of real feet?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
