Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
