his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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