But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize