Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
