I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
