Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
