I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
