I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
