So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
