I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
