Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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