Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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