We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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