You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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