did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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