It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
