I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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