I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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