I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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