super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
