im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
