You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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