STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
