so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
