i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
two words: eviction party
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize