what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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