listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
