For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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