Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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