I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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