she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
