Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize