Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
