Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize