Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
honey bunches of taint.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
