do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
