Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
