That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
