I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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