Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
