I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
