In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
how drunk are you?
Several
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
