She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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