If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
