he looks like a really good dad on facebook
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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