We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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