He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
