I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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