In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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