hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
