I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
