Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
