and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
where does the pee come out of this thing
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
