it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
