my soul wont recognize me after tonight
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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